


tainted

by tzvkki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Confusion, FIRST FIC WHOOPS, KuroKen - Freeform, Love, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, false love, i love kuroken but it's the only ship i thought to do this story with, lowercase on purpose, no happy ending, not too graphic, tw: non-con, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:02:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24089338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tzvkki/pseuds/tzvkki
Summary: it's "love at first sight" but kuroo is a bit too pushy.-(tw: non-con. read at your discretion)
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	tainted

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: NON-CONSENSUAL ACTIVITIES ARE PORTRAYED AND MENTIONED IN THIS FIC. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THIS SUBJECT!  
> -  
> i cried while writing this not gonna lie. this is slightly based on a true story. also this is my first haikyuu fanfic, so please tell me anything you guys liked/disliked about it! i plan to write a lot here soon because of covid-19 and shit, but i'll probably just sleep instead. i hope you enjoy :)

-

_"he looks so good in that jacket…"_

i stare down at my hands as that thought stays in my mind for several seconds. he _does_ look good in that jacket. it's not even that big of a deal, it's just a simple leather jacket. but when styled with his skinny jeans and white t-shirt, it does something to my heart. i can't remember the last time i have felt this way. my heart is beating fast and my palms are sweaty. i tell myself it's just nerves from being around a group of people i barely know, or maybe it's the banana pudding that is probably days old, but my eyes tell me otherwise. i keep stealing subtle glances, taking every chance i can to ogle at the boy and his messy hair. i take a sip of my water, my eyes peeking up at him. i swallow harshly out of shock as our eyes meet, a small smile escaping his lips. it's at this moment when i realize…

_"i want you…"_

-

_"c'mon, just text him already!"_

i can feel my warm breath hitting my fingernails as i nervously chew them. i need to find a way to text him. some way to get in contact with him. i already have his instagram, so the only thing keeping me from messaging him was pure fear. if i text him, there's a solid chance he won't respond. or even worse, he'll just leave me on read or block my account. i exhale softly as i decide to put my phone onto my desk, looking around at my disorganized room. i try to remember the last time i cleaned it. i decide it's time to straighten things up a bit. i pick up a couple of dirty shirts and toss them into the laundry basket. no more than three seconds after i put the rest of my clothes away, i hear a vibration from my desk. i feel my heart skip two beats as i rush to my phone, a wide smile quickly making an appearance onto my face.

_"hey, kenma."_

-

_"do you want to come over and play video games?"_

i find myself laughing softly at his text. who would ask me, kenma kozume, the prince of gaming, if he wanted to play a video game? the answer should've been obvious to him, but for some reason, he asked anyway. i smile down at my phone as i accept his offer, my heartbeat speeding up. is this a date? no, not possible. he only started texting me the other day, it would be too fast to ask someone on a date, right? i sigh as i twiddle my thumbs, my eyes searching my messy room for my gameboy. i see it on the floor and grab it with my slightly-shaking hand. as i get comfortable again, the ringtone i set for him plays loudly from the spot next to me. i turn the screen on, and a mixture of excitement and confusion cover my face.

_"then it's a date"_

-

_"has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"_

a blush begins to haunt my face, my hand covering my smile that was on full display. i shake my head softly, explaining to him how i never really had an interest in people, and when i did, the feelings were in no way reciprocated. i also explain to him about how my ex cheated on me, and only dated me because i looked like a girl. i hear him sigh softly as he called me beautiful again, a wider smile appearing on his face. i tilt my head a bit as he positions himself slightly above me, gently grabbing the back of my head and kissing me. my eyes instantly widened. i have never been kissed before. his lips start moving faster and his tongue protrudes past my lips and before i can stop him, his tongue is fighting mine for dominance. i try to steady my breathing through my nose. am i doing this wrong? i feel like i'm doing this wrong. he pulls back as he smiles down at me, his lips plump with saliva. my first kiss. this was my first kiss. i can still feel his hot breath on my skin, making my entire body shiver.

_"so, do you want to make things official?"_

-

_"kenma..."_

i stare up at him, his height towering over me a bit. he gently lifts me up and jumps onto the bed, holding both of my hands steadily. i bite my lip softly to hide my shy smile. slowly, he tells me what's on his mind. his words are soft and sweet. they flow out of his tainted mouth like honey. they make the butterflies in my stomach run wild among the garden below them. his voice. his perfect, beautiful voice. you can hear the depth of it in his throat, begging its way out. it makes shivers run up and down my spine, a stuttered breath leaving my mouth. i never thought it was possible for a few simple words to make me feel such a way. especially just three, tiny words. 

_"...i love you."_

-

_"i'm horny. send pics?"_

i stare down at the text message he sent me. i don't know how to react. the only people to ever ask me for dirty pics are horny pedophiles. but this… this is my boyfriend. i'm, like, legally required to, right? i have to do whatever i can to make him happy, right? he got a boner from thinking of me, so therefore it's my fault, right? i slowly stand up and sneak into my bathroom at 2:47 am. i stare into the mirror before looking back down at the phone. he asks again and i sigh. i gently take my shirt off, glancing back at my reflection. have i always been this scrawny? my arms are too thin and my torso is too weak-looking. i click on the camera button on my phone and hold it up, facing the mirror. i take a deep breath before hiding my face behind the camera, taking a photo of my half-naked body. i look at the photo, staring down at all my insecurities. i click send before thinking too much of it. i look down at my glowing phone, a message appearing. i smile softly, taking more photos for him.

_"your body is so fucking sexy."_

-

_"i need a little… help."_

he grabs my hand softly, positioning it right over his boner. my eyes widen a dramatic amount. i had never touched a dick that wasn't my own before. i arrived at his house all of ten minutes ago, and he's already hard? he leans in and kisses me deep, still holding my hand over his clothed erection. i feel the slightest bit uncomfortable, but that's normal. this is my first time touching another man sexually, so obviously i'm going to feel a bit weirded out. he grabs my hand tighter, moving it a bit. he lets out a soft moan as he sticks my hand into his pants with no warning whatsoever. before i can react, he moves his tongue deeper inside my mouth, hitting all of the surfaces in my mouth. he pulls back, gasping for air as he pulls me on top of his lap. he lies down and stares up at me, grabbing my hand that was freed moments before and using it to pull his cock out of his boxers. i look down at him with a confused look as he told me to stroke it. i oblige, not wanting to disappoint him. i stroke him softly, looking anywhere but between his legs. why does this feel so weird? he quickly jolts and pushes me to the side as we hear footsteps approach his door. he tucks his dick away right before his mom walks in. this feels so dirty. i feel so dirty.

_"that was close… now, where were we?"_

_-_

_"don't worry baby, i'll make you feel good."_

one moment, we were playing the game he bought me for our two-month anniversary gift (which shouldn't even be a thing, if i say so myself). the next, he's pushing my mouth down on his cock. my throat burns like hell and i feel tears trickle out of the corner of my eyes. we are both bare, our clothes scattered on the ground as he sits at the end of his bed, me in between his legs. i feel a warm, sticky liquid run down my throat as i force myself not to throw up. he quickly lifts me up from the ground, laying me on the bed. he grabs the lube and condoms his friend got him a few weeks prior. he looks down at me and tells me how good everything is going to feel. he tells me how he's going to touch me just right and how nice i'm going to feel around him. i feel myself shake softly as i nod. it doesn't matter that i didn't tell him that any of this was okay. the constant shakes of my head and tiny rejections mean nothing. it's my fault he's always horny, so if i give him what he wants, then maybe our relationship can last. it doesn't matter if i'm ready or not; i just want to make him happy. if he is happy, then i am happy. after a few minutes of prepping me, i feel him thrust inside me with no warning. i sob softly into the white pillow under my skin, clenching my eyes shut as the tsunami of tears break past my eyelids. i have been tainted. i am no longer clean. i am dirty. my body is impure.

_"up for another round?"_

-

_"i'm a whore…"_

i lie down in my own bed after an hour long shower. i scrubbed my entire body until it turned red, making sure every part of it was properly cleansed. i stare up at my ceiling as a tear leaks down the side of my face. my entire body aches, and i feel used. my virginity was taken by a man that i haven't even told i love yet. i wasn't ready. i will never be ready. i never wanted to have sex, but he insisted. i would never want to disappoint the only person who has ever loved me. the only person that has ever called my body beautiful and the only person who has ever made me feel good about myself. but he tainted me. my lips. my eyes. my body. tainted. i will never be the same.

_"but at least he's happy…"_

-


End file.
